....will be resumed soon, i hope.
It's been an odd time for me, recently. The crappy happenings of a few months back have started to hit hard. Silly me, I assumed that once the initial crying and bleeding was over with it would be onwards and upwards. I am lucky in one respect, as i have had little experience of grief in my life. However this meant that I was blissfully unaware that grief is a sneaky little bastard. It lurks beneath the surface until you think you've got your head above water, and then it grabs you by the ankle, pulling you down before you've had a chance to grab your breath. So these last few months have been like wading through mud.
And yet, whilst part of me is emotionally sapped, I'm doing great in other areas ~ I made the long-list (although not the short-list) of a short story competition that i had forgotten I had entered, which was an unexpected boost.
And I'm writing a lot. The novel is a bit of a fluffy duvet, which I can wrap myself up in and be far far removed from all the cacky mundanity. I have got almost an entire notebook of longhand to type up, and I've added a few new characters. Really pleased with how its going.
Also, I'm back on stage, which is another extremely fluffy duvet to wardoff all the nasty reality. Short version: husband is a professional actor, and we met through the theatre. I used to be involved in a lot of productions both on and back-stage. And, if I may be so bold as to blow my own trumpet, I wasn't too shabby an actress. And then allsorts got in the way ~ working full time & doing a part-time degree, writing, planning the wedding, moving house and so on ~ and so in the last fours years I've only taken one part on stage. And then out of the blue I got offered a part in a new play. A big part. And of the other adults cast, I'm the only non-professional, which I'm taking to be quite a compliment. And it's great. There really is nothing like being someone else for a while to literally take you out of yourself.
So, a mixed bag, this last few months: some bits are up, some bits are down, and I'm just in the middle trying to make some sense of it all.
And I still can't shake the feeling that there's something amazing on the horizon....... :-)
Friday, April 04, 2008
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7 comments:
You're so right. Grief is a pig.
Hope you manage to give it the slip soon.
Great news about the short story competition. See - how clever are you?
Acknowledging the cack of it is a great step forward. It sounds to me as though you are emerging out the other side. You have some wonderful, positive things in that post - and even better - you recognise them.
All the best.
JJx
I don't think grief ever really goes away but evolves. Be good to yourself.
Well done on all the other good things going on.
thinking of you.
x
Grief is a sneaky bugger but writing always helps ( I like fluffy duvet! and I'm very impressed that you act!
Take care:-)x
'sneaky little bastard' is about right - but another plus point is it's all stuff you can use, in your writing and in your acting. Sounds as if you're doing brilliantly to me.
Hope the fluffy duvet helps and GOOD LUCK with the play. x
Glad that you can find some solace in your writing. Grief is evil and sneaky, particularly the grief attached to something like miscarriage. I lost my first baby last summer- I still find it devastating. One day at a time...as you say, there are great things out there just waiting for you. xx
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