First and foremeost, heartfelt thanks to everyone who has passed on their kind thoughts following news of the miscarriage. I really do appreciate it.
And thank you to Zinnia for pointing me in the direction of Boob Pencil. So much of Clare's experince mirrors mine, and there's a comfort in reading about someone else going through, and ultimately coming out of the other side of, the same load of shit. "21 Reasons Why a Miscarriage is A Bit Rubbish" made me laugh, a lot, at a time when I didn't think I could manange to twitch the corners of my mouth into any semblance of jollity. The following excerpts were especially welcome [& I hope it's ok to reproduce this here?]:
(11) It goes on forever. I think most people assume (I certainly did) that you collapse in a big pile of blood for a few hours, and then it's all over. But no. It takes days, sometimes weeks, for it all to come out. And modern scanning techniques mean you often know (as we did) it's going to happen before it actually happens. So first you get the waiting. Then the bleeding. Then more waiting. More scans. More bleeding. And so on. It's rather tiresome.
(12) You don't get anything proper to grieve over, so you feel you have to gloss over it all the time. Unfortunately, your hormones don't agree.
(14) Babies and pregnancies and all related matters are fucking everywhere. You will not escape.
(15) It's a very common complaint. It doesn't even make you special. At least if I'd given birth to a half-horse-half-hippopotamous it would have given us something to talk about.
(19) People's faces. Ally said last week he didn't want to go into work cos he couldn't be arsed arranging his face. People are either too sympathetic or not sympathetic enough. I don't want people to act like nothing's happened, but I don't want them fawning all over me either. Sorry folks, you're best avoiding me for a bit. I don't have an Etiquette Guide for this one, and I'll change my mind from one moment to the next.
(20) Sick leave. The pain and the bleeding come and go. The tears come and go. Sometimes I'm fine. I feel crap for taking all this time off work. But I really don't want to go to work. But I still feel guilty.
Number 20 is especially pertinent to me. I took all of last week off work. Coming back on Monday was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Not because I dreaded the sympathetic head tilt and wan smile that I’ve seen a thousand a day since it happened (see number 19 above), but because it marked the end of it all. Back to normality.
When I was pregnant I loved having this tiny little secret that I carried wth me everywhere. And even following the miscarriage everything in my life was still all about the baby and the pregnancy, albeit the loss thereof. I enjoyed (as far as possible, given the circumstances) my week of coccooned protection from reality. Things were still going on outside my four walls, but they didn’t touch me. I was safe, removed from it all. It was all still "special”, somehow. But starting the week on Monday was like someone had hit rewind, and I’d gone back in time two months, to the days before the wee one existed at all. And I hated that part of it, the sense of erasure. Things aren’t special anymore. My breasts don’t hurt, I don’t feel sick, I’m not exhausted. And I can’t talk to him in my head anymore, which I miss, because I used to do that all of the time.
But on the plus side I have thrown myself into reading (such an escapist pursuit) and writing (ditto), and I’ve been running again. In fact, on saturday I went running in my gorgeous local park. I was really enjoying the catharsis, until I bumped (not quite literally, but almost) into the lady from the hospital who peerformed my scans and had the unenviable job of telling me that there was no heartbeat. I ran away pretty fast, not least in case she told me off for runing 8 days aftr a miscarriage, but it shook me up quite considerably.
But I'm much much better now. I'll never be totally over it, but I'm getting as close to "over it" as I can.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Sad news
Sadly impending baby #1 is no longer impending.
On Thursday I had a further scan, as I had more slight bleeding. Unfortunately there was no heartbeat.
I was advised that I would need to undergo a medical procedure to remove the foetus and associated tissue. However on Friday morning nature took care of things, and I miscarried. It was harrowing, but somehow better than an operation, and helped me to feel as if it was "finalised".
Physically, I am recovering. Emotionally, I don't think it's quite sunk in yet ~ I'm still flooded with pregnancy hormones, and I have to keep reminding myself that I am no longer pregnant.
My husband has been outstanding in his support and care of me. We are both extremely saddened, but hope to try again soon.
In telling people I've been astounded by the number of people who have been through the same thing, and I'm finding that rather comforting. The woman who hasn't miscarried on at least one occasion is few and far between, and the vast majority of those woman have gone on to have one or more healthy babies.
Thank you to everyone for their kind comments over the last few weeks. Hopefully there'll be more good news soon (but ONLY to be announced after the magical 12 week point.)
On Thursday I had a further scan, as I had more slight bleeding. Unfortunately there was no heartbeat.
I was advised that I would need to undergo a medical procedure to remove the foetus and associated tissue. However on Friday morning nature took care of things, and I miscarried. It was harrowing, but somehow better than an operation, and helped me to feel as if it was "finalised".
Physically, I am recovering. Emotionally, I don't think it's quite sunk in yet ~ I'm still flooded with pregnancy hormones, and I have to keep reminding myself that I am no longer pregnant.
My husband has been outstanding in his support and care of me. We are both extremely saddened, but hope to try again soon.
In telling people I've been astounded by the number of people who have been through the same thing, and I'm finding that rather comforting. The woman who hasn't miscarried on at least one occasion is few and far between, and the vast majority of those woman have gone on to have one or more healthy babies.
Thank you to everyone for their kind comments over the last few weeks. Hopefully there'll be more good news soon (but ONLY to be announced after the magical 12 week point.)
Monday, January 07, 2008
Trust in the universe
Impending baby#1 has lead us to start clearing out a lot of the old rubbish from our spare bedroom (otherwise the baby will be sleeping in the garage).
In going through my many boxes of pointless old tat I was reminded just how pretentiously "New Age" I was in my younger years ~ embarrassingly so, in fact.
Over recent years I've become much less hippy dippy ~ maybe it's age, although I think my psychology degree went a long way towards instilling a hefty dose of scientific pragmatism into me.
But I haven't lost that side of myself completely. There's still a part of me that believes that if you take a leap of faith, with the best of intentions, then the universe will throw a safety net beneath you.
Yesterday we had quite a harried day ~ I've entered the headaches and mood swings part of pregnancy, which is bringing much joy to husband and myself. We have been very worried about money ~ how we will afford the essential renovations needed to the house prior to the birth, how we will afford the mortgage once I'm reduced to Statutory Maternity Pay, how we will afford childcare once I go back to work....... And after many tears, recriminations and frantic calculations, I decided that we just had to trust that things would be alright. There are lots of people a lot worse off than ourselves, and they manage. Something would turn up, though i couldn't envisage what that would be.
And, unbeliveably, it did. This morning. Access to a wee pot of money which will see us through the renovations and ease the financial strain of my reduced maternity income.
I have never been so relieved, or so grateful. I owe an enormous "thank you" to someone or something, somewhere. So lets call that someone or something the universe.
You can take the girl out of the New Age.....
In going through my many boxes of pointless old tat I was reminded just how pretentiously "New Age" I was in my younger years ~ embarrassingly so, in fact.
Over recent years I've become much less hippy dippy ~ maybe it's age, although I think my psychology degree went a long way towards instilling a hefty dose of scientific pragmatism into me.
But I haven't lost that side of myself completely. There's still a part of me that believes that if you take a leap of faith, with the best of intentions, then the universe will throw a safety net beneath you.
Yesterday we had quite a harried day ~ I've entered the headaches and mood swings part of pregnancy, which is bringing much joy to husband and myself. We have been very worried about money ~ how we will afford the essential renovations needed to the house prior to the birth, how we will afford the mortgage once I'm reduced to Statutory Maternity Pay, how we will afford childcare once I go back to work....... And after many tears, recriminations and frantic calculations, I decided that we just had to trust that things would be alright. There are lots of people a lot worse off than ourselves, and they manage. Something would turn up, though i couldn't envisage what that would be.
And, unbeliveably, it did. This morning. Access to a wee pot of money which will see us through the renovations and ease the financial strain of my reduced maternity income.
I have never been so relieved, or so grateful. I owe an enormous "thank you" to someone or something, somewhere. So lets call that someone or something the universe.
You can take the girl out of the New Age.....
Thursday, January 03, 2008
A post with no title ..... cos I can't think of one.
It has just occurred to me that the blog title here is incredibly outdated, given that The DeadBeats novel floundered some time back and is currently in a coma, possibly to be reawakened at some unspecified point in the future. Ah well, I don't think you can change them on blogger (although if anyone knows different, please share!)
I know it's premature, but i LOVE 2008! It's been a rather sparkling start to the new year for me so far:
* Got my first 1000 words off to The "Wannabe a writer?" novel opening competition. Seriously doubt it will get anywhere (I lost track of the days due to the Christmassy suspension of real time, and ended up hastily editing it early saturday morning before diving into the post office to catch the post en route to a wedding. Not the ordered and considered approach I would have preferred). Of course, this was technically 2007, but I'm counting it as 2008 as that is when the judging will commence.
* Lots of writing done so far this year. And we're only 3 days in. Hurrah!
* Have not wigged out, panicked, or been unbalanced and control-freaky in any way shape or form yet.
* I'm pregnant so I don't have to bother pretending that I'll try and lose weight this year. Bring on the rice pudding!
* Looking back over 2007 I achieved, or made progress on, all of my goals. Yee-haw!
2008 is going to be a good 'un. I can just tell.
I know it's premature, but i LOVE 2008! It's been a rather sparkling start to the new year for me so far:
* Got my first 1000 words off to The "Wannabe a writer?" novel opening competition. Seriously doubt it will get anywhere (I lost track of the days due to the Christmassy suspension of real time, and ended up hastily editing it early saturday morning before diving into the post office to catch the post en route to a wedding. Not the ordered and considered approach I would have preferred). Of course, this was technically 2007, but I'm counting it as 2008 as that is when the judging will commence.
* Lots of writing done so far this year. And we're only 3 days in. Hurrah!
* Have not wigged out, panicked, or been unbalanced and control-freaky in any way shape or form yet.
* I'm pregnant so I don't have to bother pretending that I'll try and lose weight this year. Bring on the rice pudding!
* Looking back over 2007 I achieved, or made progress on, all of my goals. Yee-haw!
2008 is going to be a good 'un. I can just tell.
Monday, December 31, 2007
David Mitchell: Why I write
What advice would you give to new writers?
A maximum of one killer metaphor or simile per page should be ample, and watch out for the word "seem": it debases one's own currency, somehow. Think about how the writers who you love manage to make you love them. Prose that contains too many sentences beginning with the word "I" soon gets as tedious as people who begin too many sentences with the word "I".
I'll be adding the above to the writing resolutions. This eveing will be spent tippling on non-alcoholic champers (tastes vaguely of dry roasted peanuts, weirdly) and finalising the list of "Things to do in 2008", before putting it somewhere for safe-keeping, never to be seen again by human eye.
Put up or Shut up, Susan Hill (sort of) implored in the most recent post of her online Creative Writing course. This year I'll be putting up, and will be a veritable writing demon. The impending arrival of baby #1 has given me a focus and deadline that I have lacked previously.
Feeling very very optimistic about 2008!
What advice would you give to new writers?
A maximum of one killer metaphor or simile per page should be ample, and watch out for the word "seem": it debases one's own currency, somehow. Think about how the writers who you love manage to make you love them. Prose that contains too many sentences beginning with the word "I" soon gets as tedious as people who begin too many sentences with the word "I".
I'll be adding the above to the writing resolutions. This eveing will be spent tippling on non-alcoholic champers (tastes vaguely of dry roasted peanuts, weirdly) and finalising the list of "Things to do in 2008", before putting it somewhere for safe-keeping, never to be seen again by human eye.
Put up or Shut up, Susan Hill (sort of) implored in the most recent post of her online Creative Writing course. This year I'll be putting up, and will be a veritable writing demon. The impending arrival of baby #1 has given me a focus and deadline that I have lacked previously.
Feeling very very optimistic about 2008!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Best Christmas present ever!
Back from the hospital, and all is well.I saw my baby, and their tiny little heart was beating away like billy-o. That's him / her posing for the camera on the left :-)
From the size, they have dated the little sprog at seven weeks and one day, so slightly younger than we thought.
I don't think I have ever felt so relieved in all of my life. Ah, the joys of parenthood! I'm sure this is just the first of many, many worries about the wee one.....
Tenterhooks....
Although I haven't "officially" announced it, most people have deciphered my shamelessly obvious hints and concluded, correctly, that I am pregnant. Eight weeks, to be exact, which I know is prior to the golden public deadline of twelve weeks, but I just couldn't help myself. We've told family and close friends, given that the impending festive season was going to make my sipping of a soda water look thoroughly "bah, humbug!" otherwise.
Today is going to be the longest day of my life. I've been awake since around 5 a.m., and I've been counting down the hours for the last two days. At 3p.m. I am booked for an early scan, as I experienced some bleeding earlier in the week ~ very light, and not accompanied by any pain (this is apparently a good sign, according to the 4000 websites I have pored over for the last few days) .
It has happened on three occassions now, and being a highly-strung worrying type I am beside myself.
I have convinced myself that I no longer "feel" pregnant ~ the sickness has subsided, the breast tenderness that would keep me awake half the night has disappeared ~ and so I am reconciled to the worst outcome. At least that way any good news will be a bonus.
Only four more hours, and I'll know if my little bean is still hanging on in there. This will either be the best or worst Christmas I've ever had.
Apologies for the lack of festive tone to this post, but I felt the need to get it all out there.
Update will follow as soon as is feasible.
Today is going to be the longest day of my life. I've been awake since around 5 a.m., and I've been counting down the hours for the last two days. At 3p.m. I am booked for an early scan, as I experienced some bleeding earlier in the week ~ very light, and not accompanied by any pain (this is apparently a good sign, according to the 4000 websites I have pored over for the last few days) .
It has happened on three occassions now, and being a highly-strung worrying type I am beside myself.
I have convinced myself that I no longer "feel" pregnant ~ the sickness has subsided, the breast tenderness that would keep me awake half the night has disappeared ~ and so I am reconciled to the worst outcome. At least that way any good news will be a bonus.
Only four more hours, and I'll know if my little bean is still hanging on in there. This will either be the best or worst Christmas I've ever had.
Apologies for the lack of festive tone to this post, but I felt the need to get it all out there.
Update will follow as soon as is feasible.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Distinctly pleased!
I've just received my mark for the OU Creative Writing course A215, and am thrilled to announce that I received a DISTINCTION!!
Only 6% of the course finishers acheived that grade (91 out of 1444) so I am very very pleased indeed.It's one hell of a boost to my writing confidence, and seeing as I'm full of bouncy new motivation for the WIP it will inspire me to bang that word count up quite considerably.
My voice and use of language were classified as "excellent", which is especially useful to me as I've never been fully confident in my voice, and have a tendency to over-write.
If only I could have a drink to celebrate (but that's a whole other lot of good news .... ;--) )
*************************************
Good news is abounding all over the place. Bestest best friend in the world has just got engaged, and I couldn't be happier for them. And it means I'll get to go to another wedding, one where I get to watch it all unfold before me rather than being slap bang in the middle of things, like I was at the most recent wedding I attended (i.e. mine).
But the universe is nothing if not balanced, hence my shocking unpreparedness for Christmas, and the husband's perforated ear-drum. Ah well, Christmas is only one day, and ear drums heal (I'll just have to shout at him in the other one....)
Only 6% of the course finishers acheived that grade (91 out of 1444) so I am very very pleased indeed.It's one hell of a boost to my writing confidence, and seeing as I'm full of bouncy new motivation for the WIP it will inspire me to bang that word count up quite considerably.
My voice and use of language were classified as "excellent", which is especially useful to me as I've never been fully confident in my voice, and have a tendency to over-write.
If only I could have a drink to celebrate (but that's a whole other lot of good news .... ;--) )
*************************************
Good news is abounding all over the place. Bestest best friend in the world has just got engaged, and I couldn't be happier for them. And it means I'll get to go to another wedding, one where I get to watch it all unfold before me rather than being slap bang in the middle of things, like I was at the most recent wedding I attended (i.e. mine).
But the universe is nothing if not balanced, hence my shocking unpreparedness for Christmas, and the husband's perforated ear-drum. Ah well, Christmas is only one day, and ear drums heal (I'll just have to shout at him in the other one....)
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Progress continues apace
Things acheived yesterday:
A big in-road was made into the mountain of bags and boxes which are still, shamefully, cluttering up our spare bedroom since we moved TWO YEARS AGO!!
This resulted in two HUGES bags of rubbish and two HUGE bags of charity shop stuff, as well as a pile of vintage stuff from my younger days which I anticipate will make a mint on ebay ~ sadly I don't fit into any of it anymore, it's all stuff from when I was 15-19 ish (and at least a stone lighter), but it's very good 60's & 70's vintage. Sadly my days of retro dressing pre-dated the vintage boom of the last few years, as sported by Moss et al, and so I was regarded as something of a jumble sale odd-bod back then. But hey, pioneers are always misunderstood, aren't they? I'll be sorry to see it go, to be honest, those clothes represent such a wonderful time in my life, but my house isn't big enough to be a museum to the younger me. Time to move on.....
Also got quite a bit off writing done yesterday evening, and a bit more this morning too ~ all longhand, as the laptop is officially dead, but momentum is picking up gain.
So, all in all a very useful day.
Incidentally, found out today that a colleague of mine has run off with her next door neighbour. Now, if I put that in a story I'd be criticised for resorting to cliche. Stranger than fiction, eh....
A big in-road was made into the mountain of bags and boxes which are still, shamefully, cluttering up our spare bedroom since we moved TWO YEARS AGO!!
This resulted in two HUGES bags of rubbish and two HUGE bags of charity shop stuff, as well as a pile of vintage stuff from my younger days which I anticipate will make a mint on ebay ~ sadly I don't fit into any of it anymore, it's all stuff from when I was 15-19 ish (and at least a stone lighter), but it's very good 60's & 70's vintage. Sadly my days of retro dressing pre-dated the vintage boom of the last few years, as sported by Moss et al, and so I was regarded as something of a jumble sale odd-bod back then. But hey, pioneers are always misunderstood, aren't they? I'll be sorry to see it go, to be honest, those clothes represent such a wonderful time in my life, but my house isn't big enough to be a museum to the younger me. Time to move on.....
Also got quite a bit off writing done yesterday evening, and a bit more this morning too ~ all longhand, as the laptop is officially dead, but momentum is picking up gain.
So, all in all a very useful day.
Incidentally, found out today that a colleague of mine has run off with her next door neighbour. Now, if I put that in a story I'd be criticised for resorting to cliche. Stranger than fiction, eh....
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
C'mon, Kingsley!
Decided that after the general apathy of the last few weeks (some of it entirely self-indulgent, some of it due to a horrible cold-y thing that I couldn't shake off, which gave me the energy levels of a dying fly) I decided to start this week with a good old shake and dust-down.
Decided to be super-positive, and I whizzed through the day with bags of energy. Then I managed to take myself off for a not-too-shabby three mile run, followed by a bit of structural research for the novel.
The "bounce-back" attitude clearly worked: This morning I was delighted to be offered a fantastic part in a play (I've been known to tread a board or two, in my time, although its been a few years), working with a script by a writer I know personally and admire a great deal, and a wonderful director who I've worked with a few times before. I'm going to have to turn it down, sadly (reasons why will follow ~ they're non-negotiable), but just to be offered it was an amazing boost, and extremely flattering.
It's been a good week so far.
Decided to be super-positive, and I whizzed through the day with bags of energy. Then I managed to take myself off for a not-too-shabby three mile run, followed by a bit of structural research for the novel.
The "bounce-back" attitude clearly worked: This morning I was delighted to be offered a fantastic part in a play (I've been known to tread a board or two, in my time, although its been a few years), working with a script by a writer I know personally and admire a great deal, and a wonderful director who I've worked with a few times before. I'm going to have to turn it down, sadly (reasons why will follow ~ they're non-negotiable), but just to be offered it was an amazing boost, and extremely flattering.
It's been a good week so far.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Lack of (pro)creativity
All those years of scrupulous contraception, the fearful frissons of "what if??..." following an unwise risk, the sea-shanty of nausea that sploshed around me on the occassion I took the morning after pill, the assumption that my perky wee ova were brazenly touting for the attention of any passing spermatazoa ~ I thought getting pregnant was as easy as falling on your back.
Turns out it's far far harder than that. Or at least it is for us: we know six couples who fell pregnant first time of trying, including two who were using contraception at the time too. And so I had an inkling that statistically we wouldn't be quite so lucky, that we'd be that 10-20% of couples with subfertility issues.
Not that we've been trying for years and years, like some couples~ but when you're the wrong side of 30 (and just a kick in the pants off 35) you don't want to hang around for too long.
So, this morning I had a nice chat with a lovely doctor, and she explained to me all the dignified and entirely unrevolting, stress-free procedures me and the husband can undergo if this month doesn't prove to be a winner in the baby stakes.
This pre-occupation with baby business has sapped my creativity rather a lot recently, hence my absence from blogdom, and the miniscule amount of novel progress. That, and the fact that my laptop is proving as dysfunctional as my ovaries. The man in the shop tells me I have something wrong with my motherboard.
Oh, the irony.....
Turns out it's far far harder than that. Or at least it is for us: we know six couples who fell pregnant first time of trying, including two who were using contraception at the time too. And so I had an inkling that statistically we wouldn't be quite so lucky, that we'd be that 10-20% of couples with subfertility issues.
Not that we've been trying for years and years, like some couples~ but when you're the wrong side of 30 (and just a kick in the pants off 35) you don't want to hang around for too long.
So, this morning I had a nice chat with a lovely doctor, and she explained to me all the dignified and entirely unrevolting, stress-free procedures me and the husband can undergo if this month doesn't prove to be a winner in the baby stakes.
This pre-occupation with baby business has sapped my creativity rather a lot recently, hence my absence from blogdom, and the miniscule amount of novel progress. That, and the fact that my laptop is proving as dysfunctional as my ovaries. The man in the shop tells me I have something wrong with my motherboard.
Oh, the irony.....
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Cosy sloth
Clocks have gone back, winter is chipping in, and I’ve just turned 34. And all I want to do is sleep. Is anyone else finding impossible to get into gear? Maybe it’s the lack of a decent summer, making the chilly weather all the harder to bear. And it’s odd, because I’m more of an autumnal than summer person ~ I hate being too hot, and I’m much happier in a cosy jumper and a pair of boots than a flippy sun-dress.
But so far I’m not slipping into November quite the way one would a warm bath. I want to spend every evening curled on the sofa in my jammies drinking green tea and watching Gordon Ramsey lambaste the latest “worst”kitchen he’s ever seen (seriously addicted to Kitchen Nightmares. What with that, CSI:NY and Strictly Come Dancing I may not make it out in public again till at least January.) Work has been busier than usual too, which hasn’t been helping with the “oomph” factor. I think I was born to hibernate.
Running, writing and renovations have been on the back burner. Anyone recommend any energy boosters for November slothiness?
One thing which may jolt me into alertness is a recent critique from Jacqui Bennett Writers Bureau ~ lots and lots of stuff was picked up (despite my best efforts I tend to fall down a little on the proof reading side of things ~ I’ve generally been over my pieces again and again and again, to the point where I know them by heart and I read what should be on the page rather than what actually is on the page) but I am the type who relishes criticism, the balder the better, so I’m raring to take those comments back to my other writings and trim some of the fat from them. Hearteningly the critique concluded “it is clear that you are an imaginative and talented writer.” So that’s added a little warm glow that will possibly bouy me through to the New Year.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
An Evening with Hilary Mantel
Some people choose to spend their Saturday evenings perched on a brown faux leather cube-stools bingeing on over-priced drinks in ultra-modern bars where you can’t talk to anyone because the DJ is making their ears bleed. Not me (far too old, you see ;-) ). No, this Saturday evening saw me attending an evening with Hilary Mantel (part of this year’s Durham Literature Festival).
I love Hilary Mantel ~ not least for the breath-taking quality of her prose, whereby electricity pylons “lift their skirts in a ferrous gavotte”. Also, we both went to Sheffield University (although some years apart, and in different departments ~ she studied Law, I studied English Lit) and we both lived in Roebuck Road in Sheffield (and its not a huge street, so it is a fairly impressive coincidence, to me at least).
So, she read some sections from “Beyond Black” (if you haven’t read it do so as soon as is feasibly possible!) and discussed some aspects of the novel, such as her research processes, the character balance and back-story, and then finished up with a brief Q&A.
Being a swotty Eng lit graduate I took along a notebook and made some notes, as I knew I’d never remember it all afterwards. They’re fairly illegible and incoherent, but here are a few of the more salient points:
· Psycho-geography ~ she is interested in “what lies beneath the soil…..Every place is seething with potential, beautiful or otherwise.”
· In “Beyond Black” the character of Colette operates as the reader’s ‘way in’ to Alison’s world. Alison and Colette were there from the start, and their experiences are somewhat circular
· Is Alison a fraud? We don’t know, and it is not something that Mantel consciously addresses in the book. However she does think that the comparison of writer and medium is a viable one: both listen to the voices in their heads and spend large portions of their time engaged with characters that no-one else can see. As a predominantly historical novelist Mantel feels that she herself is often “talking to the dead” (and alluded to the fact that she had brought most of the court of Henry VIII with her to the reading, as that is the setting for her next work.).
· She doesn’t work to a pre-prepared plan, but explores themes. And she’s not looking to provide redemption for her characters, but to observe their actions, citing Waugh’s advice to“Write what they say and what they do” . Her task isn’t to educate her characters, but to see where they take themselves, and she demonstrates her characters’ intentions rather than their psychology
· “Beyond Black” is a black farce (and those who have read it will testify that humour imbues every page), and the consequences of the action pay off after the book finishes, which leaves some work for the reader to do. Not all of the loose ends are tied up. Alison and Colette redeem each other, to an extent, but their relationship is a tied and somewhat poisonous one.
· With regard to the haziness of Alison’s childhood: “recall does not always bring benefits in its wake.”
· One of many ‘laugh out loud’ moments: whilst researching mediums, psychics and their ilk for this book one lady took her hand, looked at her palm and said “Oh, what a shame! You have no imagination whatsoever!”
· Her characters tend towards a condition of marginality ~ she likes to operate in the space created by ambivalence
· Don’t spoonfeed the reader ~ they get bored. But don’t give them too little ~ they’ll be baffled. The craftsmanship is to give them just enough information. She feels she got this balance wrong in “Eight Months on Ghazzah Street”.
· Her next novel is set in the court of Henry VIII and will be publshed in 2009
· “Nobody is clever enough to write a novel” ~ at least, not all off the top of their head. It comes form a deeper place.
Well ,that’s it as far as I can make out , I was scribbling pretty fast! And annoyingly I cannot decipher my last comment, which appears to read “Sit down to write ~ no idea her mind of day” (??) .
A summary of the evenign with A S Byatt will follow in the next day or two. Although be warned, for that event I was not only scribbling quickly but in the dark too, so it may all be a bit “fax me a haddock”....
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Bloggity blog
A215 is done and dusted! Big scary end of course assessment was posted off on Tuesday, and I’ve got confirmation that they received it (and therefore beat the postal strike which was cunningly contrived to coincide with our deadline of 5th October)
So, now that I have my life back, here’s what will be happening:
1) Don’t lose the momentum ~ A215 was designed to assist me with the novel. Instead it took over as the course requirements were greater than I realized. However I have come away from it with a good daily writing discipline, as well as bags of confidence from all the great marks and comments I received, so I need to capitalize on this, rather than slip into post-course ennui….
2) Write up a summary of my A215 experience for this blog and the Novel Racers ~ It might prove useful to anyone else considering the course, and it will make me take a good hard look at what I have gained from it.
3) House renovations. …..err. moving swiftly on….
4) Embark upon the counselling training and voluntary work I need to progress onto an MSc in Counselling psychology
5) And also apply to the Clinical Psychology doctorate in the hope that I can get on without a jillion years of experience as I am a (cry) “mature applicant” (hedging my bets on Clinical vs Counselling at the minute, you see).
6) Back to the novel with a VENGEANCE!! Starting with a print out & edit of what I’ve written so far (that has the potential to be rather depressing…)
7) Catch up in Blogland
8) Get pregnant
So, that should be about enough to be going on with for a week or two, eh?
So, now that I have my life back, here’s what will be happening:
1) Don’t lose the momentum ~ A215 was designed to assist me with the novel. Instead it took over as the course requirements were greater than I realized. However I have come away from it with a good daily writing discipline, as well as bags of confidence from all the great marks and comments I received, so I need to capitalize on this, rather than slip into post-course ennui….
2) Write up a summary of my A215 experience for this blog and the Novel Racers ~ It might prove useful to anyone else considering the course, and it will make me take a good hard look at what I have gained from it.
3) House renovations. …..err. moving swiftly on….
4) Embark upon the counselling training and voluntary work I need to progress onto an MSc in Counselling psychology
5) And also apply to the Clinical Psychology doctorate in the hope that I can get on without a jillion years of experience as I am a (cry) “mature applicant” (hedging my bets on Clinical vs Counselling at the minute, you see).
6) Back to the novel with a VENGEANCE!! Starting with a print out & edit of what I’ve written so far (that has the potential to be rather depressing…)
7) Catch up in Blogland
8) Get pregnant
So, that should be about enough to be going on with for a week or two, eh?
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Generate some randomness
Two posts in one day, eh?
Just thought i'd share this link, which has a variety of random generators for different writing genres. I suspect it has more of an entertainment value, but you never know, it might spark something. I wonder what I could make from the following? :
The story starts during a snowstorm. The story takes place a year into in the past. The story must have a lizard at the beginning. The story must involve a carpet at the end. A character becomes disoriented during the story.
Bet it's never been done before, at least!
Just thought i'd share this link, which has a variety of random generators for different writing genres. I suspect it has more of an entertainment value, but you never know, it might spark something. I wonder what I could make from the following? :
The story starts during a snowstorm. The story takes place a year into in the past. The story must have a lizard at the beginning. The story must involve a carpet at the end. A character becomes disoriented during the story.
Bet it's never been done before, at least!
Back on track
First of all, a thoroughly heart-felt "Thank you" to everyone who stopped by and left kind, supportive comments following my mini-meltdown. It means an awful lot to me, and it shows just what a wonderfully positive and supportive network we have in the Novel Racers. Thank you all, so much.
Things are getting back on track now ~ the dust has settled, the avalanche of stuff to think about has slowed and there's light at the end of the tunnel (and it ain't no freight train!)
Writing is picking up pace again, and I'm churning out some rather Ok stuff (and thats pre-edit!) so I'm fairly pleased overall.
And if you're at a loose end (cos we all have so much free time, right?), Holly Lisle has a fantastic site here, packed full of fantastic resources for writers ~ everything from quitting your day job to writing "suckitudinously" . It's well worth a look.
Things are getting back on track now ~ the dust has settled, the avalanche of stuff to think about has slowed and there's light at the end of the tunnel (and it ain't no freight train!)
Writing is picking up pace again, and I'm churning out some rather Ok stuff (and thats pre-edit!) so I'm fairly pleased overall.
And if you're at a loose end (cos we all have so much free time, right?), Holly Lisle has a fantastic site here, packed full of fantastic resources for writers ~ everything from quitting your day job to writing "suckitudinously" . It's well worth a look.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
I’m still here ~ just about.
Thought I’d better pop and point out that I’m still alive ~ I haven’t evaporated!
I’ve never seen myself as, nor intended to be, a confessional writer, either in my fiction or my blogging. If anything I’ve always been more of a bottler than a blabber when it comes to things that are troubling me.
This is, I realize a far lonelier and more difficult way of navigating the whirlpools of existence than it needs to be. There is something wonderful in finding kind hands reaching out to you, especially when you haven’t even asked. My husband, my parents and the close friends I’ve opened up to recently have been marvelous at offering support (emotional, financial), advice, and general loveliness. And I’m working towards being less confrontational, and more rounded, softer, receptive.
In no order of chronology or significance, the main monsters at my door are currently:
1) Tying to translate my recently completed psychology degree into a change of career (counselling). This is involving financial sacrifices, training decisions, the search for voluntary experience, and big decisions about long term family plans ~ it’s time consuming, confusing, and scary ~ like stepping off a big ledge.
2) long-term family plans ~ as in trying to start one. It hasn’t happened yet, and whilst I’m trying to be relaxed about it, as it is universally acknowledged that tension and stress are both passions killers and highly effective contraceptives. I’m the very opposite of the “que sera” mentality that I should have. And if I’m honest, we haven’t been trying that long (just over three months), but I’m not the patient type & I want everything yesterday ~ sooner if possible. So I’m finding the fact that my ovaries don’t obey my bidding rather frustrating.
Those are the main two issues ~ and they’re fairly intertwined, and then there’s other niggly stuff:
3) We’re embarking upon a major catalogue of housing renovations ~ a logistic pain in the arse, and I’m dreading the upheaval that will come with it. Add to that the fact that tradesmen don’t always arrive when they say they will (and using up my precious few remaining days off work ~ cheers!). Again, all part of that long term plan….
4) I spent a small fortune on a new pair of running shoes last week ~ and I’ve ended up with sore heels, ankles, knees and calves. So I’m not running much, which isn’t great as it’s my main form of stress release (wine not withstanding). And it means that I’m going to have to duck out of the Tynedale 10 miler this coming Sunday ~ and they give you free jelly at the end! L. Gait analysis and replacements required this weekend ! (£££££££££)
5) I chipped one of our crystal wine glasses ~ an engagement gift from my grandmother. Must have had a flaw in it as I barely tapped it against the rim of another one, and a huge lump fell out. And according to the very sullen girl who answered the phone at House of Fraser, you can only buy full set of 6, and not singular replacements. This is surely insane? Unsurprisingly I am still waiting for her manager to get back to me with details of how I can contact the manufacturer directly….. Maybe a china matching service might be able to help?
6) And that self same day I also managed to chip one of the bowls which was part of our wedding crockery (pre-menstrual dispraxia, I think ~ although I did manage to use this as a reason to get out of doing the rest of the washing up that day ~ silver lining, eh?)
7) A215 (OU creative writing course) is hitting a critical stage ~ three assignments due in the next three weeks. Yikes.
And yes, I know that a lot of this stuff is very trivial ~ I know that there are millions of people out there dealing with much much worse. None of this stuff is life or death. And some of it is downright trivial (I do have the good grace to be ashamed of myself for whining about a chipped wine glass), but the pat-a-cake piling up of stuff at a time when my emotional reserves are low and my hormones kaleidoscopic makes for a bit of a mess.
There’s good stuff too, of course, when I remember to look for it. I went through one of my old notebooks the other day, and found a lot of really good stuff in there. So much so that if I hadn’t recognized my own handwriting I would have doubted that I’d written it.
And I’ve found a few new angles for Sonia (central protagonist of the WIP), a lot of which has come out of the recent disjointedness. The splinter of ice in this writer’s heart tells me that this will all be useable, once it’s cooled a little.
Finally, I am lucky to have a wonderful husband who pours restorative wine, lights soothing candles, does the washing up and has the safest warmest arms I’ve ever felt around me. And he loves me even when there’s snot running down my face and I’m an incoherent mess.
********************
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible ~ I look forward to visiting everyone’s blogs once the job / training applications are done and dusted.
I’ve never seen myself as, nor intended to be, a confessional writer, either in my fiction or my blogging. If anything I’ve always been more of a bottler than a blabber when it comes to things that are troubling me.
This is, I realize a far lonelier and more difficult way of navigating the whirlpools of existence than it needs to be. There is something wonderful in finding kind hands reaching out to you, especially when you haven’t even asked. My husband, my parents and the close friends I’ve opened up to recently have been marvelous at offering support (emotional, financial), advice, and general loveliness. And I’m working towards being less confrontational, and more rounded, softer, receptive.
In no order of chronology or significance, the main monsters at my door are currently:
1) Tying to translate my recently completed psychology degree into a change of career (counselling). This is involving financial sacrifices, training decisions, the search for voluntary experience, and big decisions about long term family plans ~ it’s time consuming, confusing, and scary ~ like stepping off a big ledge.
2) long-term family plans ~ as in trying to start one. It hasn’t happened yet, and whilst I’m trying to be relaxed about it, as it is universally acknowledged that tension and stress are both passions killers and highly effective contraceptives. I’m the very opposite of the “que sera” mentality that I should have. And if I’m honest, we haven’t been trying that long (just over three months), but I’m not the patient type & I want everything yesterday ~ sooner if possible. So I’m finding the fact that my ovaries don’t obey my bidding rather frustrating.
Those are the main two issues ~ and they’re fairly intertwined, and then there’s other niggly stuff:
3) We’re embarking upon a major catalogue of housing renovations ~ a logistic pain in the arse, and I’m dreading the upheaval that will come with it. Add to that the fact that tradesmen don’t always arrive when they say they will (and using up my precious few remaining days off work ~ cheers!). Again, all part of that long term plan….
4) I spent a small fortune on a new pair of running shoes last week ~ and I’ve ended up with sore heels, ankles, knees and calves. So I’m not running much, which isn’t great as it’s my main form of stress release (wine not withstanding). And it means that I’m going to have to duck out of the Tynedale 10 miler this coming Sunday ~ and they give you free jelly at the end! L. Gait analysis and replacements required this weekend ! (£££££££££)
5) I chipped one of our crystal wine glasses ~ an engagement gift from my grandmother. Must have had a flaw in it as I barely tapped it against the rim of another one, and a huge lump fell out. And according to the very sullen girl who answered the phone at House of Fraser, you can only buy full set of 6, and not singular replacements. This is surely insane? Unsurprisingly I am still waiting for her manager to get back to me with details of how I can contact the manufacturer directly….. Maybe a china matching service might be able to help?
6) And that self same day I also managed to chip one of the bowls which was part of our wedding crockery (pre-menstrual dispraxia, I think ~ although I did manage to use this as a reason to get out of doing the rest of the washing up that day ~ silver lining, eh?)
7) A215 (OU creative writing course) is hitting a critical stage ~ three assignments due in the next three weeks. Yikes.
And yes, I know that a lot of this stuff is very trivial ~ I know that there are millions of people out there dealing with much much worse. None of this stuff is life or death. And some of it is downright trivial (I do have the good grace to be ashamed of myself for whining about a chipped wine glass), but the pat-a-cake piling up of stuff at a time when my emotional reserves are low and my hormones kaleidoscopic makes for a bit of a mess.
There’s good stuff too, of course, when I remember to look for it. I went through one of my old notebooks the other day, and found a lot of really good stuff in there. So much so that if I hadn’t recognized my own handwriting I would have doubted that I’d written it.
And I’ve found a few new angles for Sonia (central protagonist of the WIP), a lot of which has come out of the recent disjointedness. The splinter of ice in this writer’s heart tells me that this will all be useable, once it’s cooled a little.
Finally, I am lucky to have a wonderful husband who pours restorative wine, lights soothing candles, does the washing up and has the safest warmest arms I’ve ever felt around me. And he loves me even when there’s snot running down my face and I’m an incoherent mess.
********************
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible ~ I look forward to visiting everyone’s blogs once the job / training applications are done and dusted.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
I've got worms!
It's okay, though ~ they're the good kind.
We recently purchased a wormery. I’d wanted one for ages, in much the same way that Carrie Bradshaw wanted Blahniks. Eco-consciousness is the new consumerism, perhaps?
I like to think I’m fairly ‘green’, although I think we probably all like to think that, just as we all like to think we’re good drivers. Or good lovers. But I do try: we recycle with a fervour (husband is almost evangelical about this ~ I contest that he negates the beneficial impact of recycling every single solitary recyclable item by leaving all the lights on when he goes out. At least they’re the energy efficient lightbulbs, though).
We washed at 30 degrees long before the adverts started urging us too, I only use the car once or twice a week, and then only if necessary, we buy organic locally produced veg and we don’t really keep up with technological advances, so we’re not junking a lot of electricals on an annual basis (thought this just as much to do with cash as conscience).
But back to the wormery: I love the idea of popping our food leftovers in there, rather than them going into the bin (and from there a landfill site). And the resultant ‘worm wee’ that you drain from the sump at the bottom is apparently magical in its effect on the garden. Which can only be a good thing, as lusher leafier plants must surely process more carbon dioxide.
I think I fancy myself as a bit of a Barbara Good (although I’m notably less pert of derrierre and disposition) and given the time and space to make it feasibly I’d love a veggie garden and some chickens. No such room in the garden or the timetable, unfortunately, so the wormies are the only livestock I’ll be cultivating in the foreseeable future.
I’m sure this wormery is some sort of metatphor: there’s cycles of nature and nutrients, putting something back in order to sustain our future, and so on, but I haven’t quite pinned it down, yet.
Yet despite a brace of gourmet meals (manky brown lettuce from the bottom of the fridge with a couple of tea bags for dessert on Saturday, some old baguette, more tea bags and some tops and tails of aubergines and broccoli stems yesterday ~ makes your mouth fair water, doesn’t it?) they don’t seem to be very wriggly or proactive. I fear the wormery may be a short-lived venture….. If anyone out there has any tips on perking up your wrigglies I’d muchly appreciate some advice.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
W.I.P still ticking along ~ must get round to doing some typing up, word-counting and meter-updating.
I like to think I’m fairly ‘green’, although I think we probably all like to think that, just as we all like to think we’re good drivers. Or good lovers. But I do try: we recycle with a fervour (husband is almost evangelical about this ~ I contest that he negates the beneficial impact of recycling every single solitary recyclable item by leaving all the lights on when he goes out. At least they’re the energy efficient lightbulbs, though).
We washed at 30 degrees long before the adverts started urging us too, I only use the car once or twice a week, and then only if necessary, we buy organic locally produced veg and we don’t really keep up with technological advances, so we’re not junking a lot of electricals on an annual basis (thought this just as much to do with cash as conscience).
But back to the wormery: I love the idea of popping our food leftovers in there, rather than them going into the bin (and from there a landfill site). And the resultant ‘worm wee’ that you drain from the sump at the bottom is apparently magical in its effect on the garden. Which can only be a good thing, as lusher leafier plants must surely process more carbon dioxide.
I think I fancy myself as a bit of a Barbara Good (although I’m notably less pert of derrierre and disposition) and given the time and space to make it feasibly I’d love a veggie garden and some chickens. No such room in the garden or the timetable, unfortunately, so the wormies are the only livestock I’ll be cultivating in the foreseeable future.
I’m sure this wormery is some sort of metatphor: there’s cycles of nature and nutrients, putting something back in order to sustain our future, and so on, but I haven’t quite pinned it down, yet.
Yet despite a brace of gourmet meals (manky brown lettuce from the bottom of the fridge with a couple of tea bags for dessert on Saturday, some old baguette, more tea bags and some tops and tails of aubergines and broccoli stems yesterday ~ makes your mouth fair water, doesn’t it?) they don’t seem to be very wriggly or proactive. I fear the wormery may be a short-lived venture….. If anyone out there has any tips on perking up your wrigglies I’d muchly appreciate some advice.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
W.I.P still ticking along ~ must get round to doing some typing up, word-counting and meter-updating.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Ok, Deep breath, here goes: First page
A few months back Liz Fenwick wrote about the first page challenge. At the time I was far too much of a scaredy-bairn to post mine (although I tried plucking up the courage several times) and probably with good reason. That novel is in a semi-permanent staet of hibernation right now ~ it may have been the right book at the wrong time, perhaps, and maybe it will prove revivable at some point.
However, since then I have moved onto a new project which I'm far more motivated about, and I'm determined to do it justice. So, in a "c'mon, gels!" spirit of derring-do I tentatively present what is currently the opening page of "Should Have Been Me". Would you want to read on?
Should Have Been Me
It could have been me. No, not ‘could’. ‘Should’. It should have been me. Why not? It’s not that I’m bad looking, and I’ve certainly got the raw talent, if not the polish. I would have had an agent, one who was far-sighted enough to see the potential in me, take me under their wing and nurture that burgeoning ability, secure in the knowledge that once I got to the top they’d be raking it in. Because we’d remain friends, really close, ‘like sisters’, I’d say in interviews. I wouldn’t abandon them at the first sniff of fame and all of the fawning alternative offers that would bring with it.
No. I would remain true to my roots, close to the friends who knew me before I was someone. I’d be nice to the people I met on the way up (even though there was no real need; I certainly didn’t intend making my way back down). That would be one of the traits that would endear me ever more to the general public ~ that I was so ordinary. ‘Grounded’, they’d say, just like one of us, really, despite all the success. The girl next door with a little bit more.
Could have, should have been me. Why wasn’t it?
I’m Sonia Thompson, and you’ve never heard of me.
However, since then I have moved onto a new project which I'm far more motivated about, and I'm determined to do it justice. So, in a "c'mon, gels!" spirit of derring-do I tentatively present what is currently the opening page of "Should Have Been Me". Would you want to read on?
Should Have Been Me
It could have been me. No, not ‘could’. ‘Should’. It should have been me. Why not? It’s not that I’m bad looking, and I’ve certainly got the raw talent, if not the polish. I would have had an agent, one who was far-sighted enough to see the potential in me, take me under their wing and nurture that burgeoning ability, secure in the knowledge that once I got to the top they’d be raking it in. Because we’d remain friends, really close, ‘like sisters’, I’d say in interviews. I wouldn’t abandon them at the first sniff of fame and all of the fawning alternative offers that would bring with it.
No. I would remain true to my roots, close to the friends who knew me before I was someone. I’d be nice to the people I met on the way up (even though there was no real need; I certainly didn’t intend making my way back down). That would be one of the traits that would endear me ever more to the general public ~ that I was so ordinary. ‘Grounded’, they’d say, just like one of us, really, despite all the success. The girl next door with a little bit more.
Could have, should have been me. Why wasn’t it?
I’m Sonia Thompson, and you’ve never heard of me.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Sickness and health
It’s been a case of “spirit willing, flesh weak” of late.
I’ve been raring to go with the novel, but totally exhausted ~ there’s been some sort of thing going round and making everyone generally a bit floppy over this last week or so, and its pole-axed me. Saturday I felt dreadful, ~ achey, fragile, clammy. I attempted a 25 minute run: I reasoned it was kill or cure. Kill, was the resounding response from my poorly bod……
And then yesterday I awoke to discover that somehow I had acquired a very painful sleep-induced back injury. A trapped nerve, was the general consensus, based on my whiny and woeful description, just under my right shoulder blade. It hurt A LOT. (It’s still quite sore now too.) So I ended up taking the day off work yesterday and lying prone on the sofa with a tennis ball under the hurty bit (long story, but it worked sort of) and effign like a navvy every time I needed to do anything pain inducing like breathing or turning the pages of my book. At one point I sneezed ad felt like I’d been knifed in the back. Owwwwwwwwwwww. How on earth did I inflict this on myself in my sleep? ****
A further affliction includes the billions (five) insect bites I acquired in my sleep the same night as the back injury ~ you try scratching your foot when you can’t move from the neck down!
Having said that, last week wasn’t a total write–off in terms of productivity ~ I achieved a personal best on a 7 mile run on Wednesday, polished up my opening pages to the novel (jut trying to pluck up the courage to post them for critique!) & did some longhand writing (hence lack of budge on the word-o-meter) and some plotty / planny stuff. So, some ups, some downs……
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
**** Husband to me, last night whist I was incapacitated on sofa with bad back: “Misery is on later. You’re a bit like James Caan in that film. “
Me, excitedly: “Why? Because I’m a writer?”
“No, because you’re an invalid”.
He needs to work on his bedside manner……
I’ve been raring to go with the novel, but totally exhausted ~ there’s been some sort of thing going round and making everyone generally a bit floppy over this last week or so, and its pole-axed me. Saturday I felt dreadful, ~ achey, fragile, clammy. I attempted a 25 minute run: I reasoned it was kill or cure. Kill, was the resounding response from my poorly bod……
And then yesterday I awoke to discover that somehow I had acquired a very painful sleep-induced back injury. A trapped nerve, was the general consensus, based on my whiny and woeful description, just under my right shoulder blade. It hurt A LOT. (It’s still quite sore now too.) So I ended up taking the day off work yesterday and lying prone on the sofa with a tennis ball under the hurty bit (long story, but it worked sort of) and effign like a navvy every time I needed to do anything pain inducing like breathing or turning the pages of my book. At one point I sneezed ad felt like I’d been knifed in the back. Owwwwwwwwwwww. How on earth did I inflict this on myself in my sleep? ****
A further affliction includes the billions (five) insect bites I acquired in my sleep the same night as the back injury ~ you try scratching your foot when you can’t move from the neck down!
Having said that, last week wasn’t a total write–off in terms of productivity ~ I achieved a personal best on a 7 mile run on Wednesday, polished up my opening pages to the novel (jut trying to pluck up the courage to post them for critique!) & did some longhand writing (hence lack of budge on the word-o-meter) and some plotty / planny stuff. So, some ups, some downs……
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
**** Husband to me, last night whist I was incapacitated on sofa with bad back: “Misery is on later. You’re a bit like James Caan in that film. “
Me, excitedly: “Why? Because I’m a writer?”
“No, because you’re an invalid”.
He needs to work on his bedside manner……
